Ibn ‘Umar stated, “Allah refers to them as the ‘dutiful’ (al-Abrar) because they are dutiful (birr) to both their parents and their children. Just as your father has rights over you, your child also has rights over you.
The youth in an Islamic society holds immense importance. They are regarded as the joy of their parents and the medium through which Islam will spread onward into the world. Keeping this at the forefront, this blog will outline the rights of children and how they should be raised, loved, and treated so that they can become upstanding members of society.
Rights Of Children
Doing Tahnik
Tahnik is a confirmed sunnah of the Prophet PBUH and it is recommended to do tahnik for a child after they are born. It is the process of taking dates, softening them, and then rubbing them against the palette of the child’s mouth. This isn’t just a practice of the Prophet PBUH but is also proven to be beneficial for the child. Tahnik aids in the production of saliva in the child’s mouth, which helps the child in early feeding.
“Abu Talha then brought the child to the Prophet (PBUH), while Um Sulaim sent along some dates with the child. The Prophet (PBUH) sat with the child on his lap and inquired if the child had anything with him. The people replied that he had a few dates. The Prophet took one of the dates, chewed it, then took some from his mouth and placed it into the child’s mouth. He performed Tahnik on the child with that and then named him ‘Abdullah”.
Tahnik can also be done with something sweet other than dates, such as honey. However, the scholars have agreed that it is preferable to do it with dates.
A Good Name
A good name is also a right of the child. Giving the child a name of Allah SWT or a Prophet for a boy, and the name of the most pious women in Islamic history should be a priority before one decides to look for other names.
Ibn ‘Umar narrated that the Messenger of Allah (May peace be upon him) said, “The names most beloved of yours to Allah are ‘Abd Allah and ‘Abd al-Rahman.”
It is preferred (mustahabb) to name the child on their seventh day, but even if somebody names the child during the first six days of their life, there is nothing wrong with that.
Shaving The Hair & Giving Its Weight In Charity
It is a sunnah of the Prophet PBUH to shave the child’s head on their seventh day and to weigh the hair and give its weight in silver in charity.
Muhammad bin ‘Ali bin Al-Husain narrated that Ali bin Abi Talib mentioned, “The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) performed the ‘Aqiqah for Al-Hasan with a single sheep. He said to Fatimah, “Shave his head and give the equal weight of his hair in silver as charity.” He added, “I came and weighed his hair, and it was approximately the weight of a Dirham or a bit of a dirham.”
Aqiqah
Aqiqah is another practice proven from the Prophet PBUH and it is generally done on the seventh day of the child’s life. In aqiqah, livestock is slaughtered to thank Allah SWT for the blessing of a child. Two sheep are slaughtered for a boy, and one sheep is slaughtered for a girl.
It has been narrated that ‘Aishah stated, “The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) instructed us to sacrifice two sheep for a boy’s ‘Aqiqah and one sheep for a girl.”
The Messenger of Allah said, “Every young boy is in pledge for his ‘Aqiqah.” Therefore, perform the slaughter for him on the seventh day, shave his head, and give him a name.”
Although the second hadith doesn’t mention a baby girl, it doesn’t mean that an aqiqah for a girl shouldn’t be done. Most of the Shariah rulings generally don’t mention women, but they still apply to the female population.
Circumcision
Circumcision is regarded as a natural state and carries many benefits for the child. It is a practice proven in numerous hadiths of the Prophet PBUH and carries profound spiritual significance.
The Prophet PBUH said, “The natural state (fitrah) consists of five practices, or five aspects that are part of the fitrah: circumcision, shaving pubic hair, plucking armpit hair, clipping nails, and trimming the moustache.”
Rights About Tarbiyah
Every child has the right to the best upbringing that their parents can give them. This includes the child’s right to a good education, a good home environment, a correct sense of right and wrong, and a strict distinction between the innovation (bidah) that has infiltrated the religion and the proper duties of a Muslim. In addition to this, a child’s rights also include teaching them moral discipline and good characteristics.
Al Nawawi stated:
“The father of the child must discipline them and teach them what they need to know about the religious duties. This teaching is an obligation upon the father and on all those who are in charge of the children before they reach the age of adolescence. This was said by al-Shafi’i and his companions. They also said that if the child has no father, then this obligation falls on the mother because it is part of a child’s upbringing, and they have a share of that. The compensation for this instruction can be drawn from the child’s own resources. If the child does not possess any wealth, then the person responsible for financially supporting him may spend on his education, as it is among his essential needs. Allah knows best.”
First and foremost, the child should be taught the correct aqeedah (creed) that is free from polytheism and any kind of innovation.
“And (remember) when Luqman said unto his son, when he was exhorting him: O my dear son! Ascribe no partners unto Allah. Lo! to ascribe partners (unto Him) is a tremendous wrong.”
Then the child should be taught the acts of worship, especially salah, because according to the Prophet PBUH,
“Between polytheism, man, and unbelief is the action of abandoning salah.”
Spending On The Child
Spending on the children is one of the father’s obligations towards his children. It isn’t permissible for him to fall short in this matter or to neglect it; rather, he must fulfill this duty of his in the best way that he is able to.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, It is considered a significant sin for a man if he neglects those whom he is responsible for supporting and taking care of.
Treating The Children Fairly
The Messenger of Allah said, “Be fair to your children, be fair to your children.”
This is another right of a child that mostly gets neglected because parents often focus too much on one child. This not only produces negative feelings in the child’s heart towards their parents but also plants a seed of hatred and envy towards their siblings, which grows stronger as they get older.
It is not permissible to give preference to male children over female children, just as it is impermissible to give preference to female children over male children. Therefore, it is essential to give equal love and attention to every child in the family, so they are continuously reassured that each sibling is loved equally.